I have been asked several times why I let my personal Twitter account be streamed here on Pearls and Pentagrams. I have a few reasons for this, the least of which being that I have neither the time nor energy to run two Twitter accounts.
I run a blog. A blog. I repeat…a blog. I don’t write articles for literary journals or the NY Times. It’s a blog, and by nature it is supposed to hold a little personality. It’s a step from my old days in the puling high school hallways of Livejournal and AOL chatrooms, Xanga and Yahoo Personals , though for an amusing-in-a-smack-your-head-kind-of-way read you can Google crackedemulsion or skywithnostars, but I am still but a bit of algae in a big pond. I want my writing to keep a personal feel to it, because this is who I am.
Why is this important? When Hubby and I opened our marriage the only poly people we knew had been doing it for some time, and they seemed really good at it, whereas we were struggling with the issues we now know most couples have in the beginning. These couples seemed to have it all figured out, like nothing in the world could ever shake them. We created an unrealistic image of what a poly marriage looks like. More so, we fed ourselves some hogwash about being in a happy poly relationship meaning we’d always be happy.
The truth is, friends, we still fight, we still make mistakes, we still hurt each other. These are normal events in any relationship. Just because we’ve fostered an environment of love, communication, and honesty does not mean that we have in any way eradicated real life issues from our marriage. We still do things we’re not proud of sometimes, and we still get stressed occasionally and take it out on each other as much as we try not to. Our “poly skills” have simply taught us to talk about them instead of letting them cause further harm.
This is why I’ve chosen to give you all a glimpse into my every day life. I try not to post serious problems and private issues on social media, that’s not my point, but it does give a more intimate look at the fact that we are real people. We are not just pagans, we are not just polyamorous, we are not just an alternative family. These are facets of our life, but they do not define our life, and that’s one of the most important things to keep in mind in any kind of lifestyle. It must be homogeneous with the life we already live or it will wear thin. This is not sterile environment writing. If it were it would be a textbook, and ultimately it would fail to relate to any real life situations.
My family is not a controlled study, nor is it the penultimate example of a poly household. We are merely people who love each other trying to share our experiences and hope someone takes something from it.