As  busy as we are it’s hard sometimes for Hubby and I to get any time at all for just the two of us.  Add in a new partner for either or both of us, and the fit gets a little tighter.  Was I a little upset that he invited the new girl to join us last night when it was supposed to be just us?  You bet I was.  We had a good time, but now they’re out having the rest of the day together and I’m stuck here at home.  Not that I don’t enjoy your company, my friends, but can you blame me for feeling like I got the short end of the stick on this one?

This is where we run into one of our biggest issues as a polyamorous couple.  Time management.  When she only has certain times free and we only have certain times free something is bound to clog the pipes.  Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with her, but I also enjoy my alone time with Hubby.  New relationships quite often get first pick of these valuable time slots because they are new, more exciting, and require  some amount of making the new addition feel wanted and comfortable.  Sometimes this means one of us ends up spending some time alone, or at least as a third wheel of sorts.

I admit some of this also comes from my frustration that Hubby and I don’t have a lot of time for fun or romantic things.  Our “dates” usually include the grocery store and Target.  We both work, and the free time we do spend together we spend cleaning or fixing things.  I also admit I’m a child of short attention span and don’t always remember the beautifully thoughtful things Hubby does for me.

For example, a few weeks ago he absolutely blew me away.  After a long morning of wedding planning he decided we’d had enough of that mess and kidnapped me for the afternoon.  First we stopped at an antique barn where he bought me the gorgeous silver necklace I’ve worn every day since then, a thimble to continue my mother’s collection, and a bracelet.  I admit I decided on the spot to wear the bracelet in my wedding.  What?  A bride never truly takes a planning break!

We continued to drive until we reached a spot by the creek to walk along the trail.  He jumped rocks.  I watched from a safe distance, since I’m still nursing the injured knee.  Near the bridge leading over the creek was an arcade full of vintage pinball and mechanical games.  We had a blast playing games that were obsolete before our parents were born.  After the arcade we looked through more antique stores, had a wonderful lunch on an outside patio, and took a tour of a glass blowing studio.

That night friends of ours informed us they had a castle-shaped moon bounce until morning.  By the time we got there everyone was done jumping, as it was dark and starting to get chilly.  Not wanting to waste an opportunity we navigated our way through the black of night to search out the moon bounce castle.  We stripped down in the moonlight, and I giggled ecstatically as he jumped in circles around me.  Who says one can’t enjoy a moon bounce if one can’t jump?  He jumped, and we laughed until tears were pouring from our eyes.  Finally he collapsed in a heap of breathlessness, and we laid there in the moonlight like a couple of kids whose dream had come true.  It reminded me why I do it all.  It reminded me who I’m spending the rest of my life with and why.  He was my knight in moonlit armor, and I felt truly loved.

Then, of course, we did dirty, dirty things in the castle moon bounce.  Really, when were we going to have that chance again?  You’d all have lost any respect you have for me had we not taken advantage of such a situation.  The sprinkles on the sundae came as I realized halfway back to the house that he had put on my underwear, so I put on his.  I wear bikinis, and he wears boxer briefs.  You do the math.

No matter how gretzy and frustrated I get with this new dynamic in our marriage, I will never forget that I am the one he chose to be his wife.  The secret lies in the moments where we can have a little freedom to act like children, have a little romance, have our quiet moment, and have our new adventures..together.

Go no, my friends, and make some time to be with the ones you love!