It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything for personal or private consumption.  Honestly, I didn’t feel like I had anything particularly important to say.  After a brief hiatus I feel refreshed and ready to be productive again.  I haven’t yet decided if that’s good for you all or not.  In any case, before I start writing actual content I’ll catch you up on the last several months here in our house.  Like the season, our garden has come and gone, yielding jars and jars of tomato sauce, salsa, and sweet peppers, as well as bags of spinach and pots of cabbage and beets.  I aged a year, as did the little guy.  We finally won some visitation, and it’s fantastic having him in our home.  We added a couple to our House, even if we don’t all live together, and we jumped head first into planning a wedding.  We’ve been very busy bees, my friends., all while holding our regularly scheduled jobs and taking care of Hubby’s grandfather, whom we live with. 

This summer Hubby broke up with Emmy.  I’m not sure I’d say I broke up with my boyfriend, as he merely stopped calling or answering any form of contact I attempted whatsoever.  I was out of work for three months, and in that three months he was too swamped at work to see me.  He did, however, have plenty of time to start seeing a third girlfriend.  I took that as a sign that he was no longer interested in our relationship.  For a few months we shared a lovely girlfriend who remains in our hearts as a close friend.  Polyamory just wasn’t for her, and we don’t hold that against anyone.  That all being done, this is the closest to a monogamous relationship we’ve had in a long time.  On one hand this has been a refreshing opportunity to spend some quality time together and recharge our marriage’s batteries.  We’ve had a few encounters as a couple and a few single encounters, but nothing serious has arisen from any of it. 

For the most part I’ve enjoyed this period of being “single”.  We get so wrapped up in relationships that we forget what it’s like to just enjoy myself with another human being.  On the other hand, it’s starting to get old.  I’m not the “slut” type.  I don’t really enjoy one night stands.  I’ve had that phase, and I need something more than that to satisfy me in the long run.  I’m not talking commitment or exclusivity; I just need to know the one I’m with genuinely cares.  I crave consistency in a world that’s constantly tossing me from one place to another.  I need the freedom to feel comfortable being myself with someone after a long day of being who I need to be to please everyone else.  I need to know I’m not just a body.  This  is the confidence our lifestyle has given me.  I’m no longer relegated to tawdry and cheap.  I have the dignity to have standards, and I have the freedom to use those standards to be selective about my encounters, even if they are one nighters.  I’ve discussed before that even one time events can be life-altering and beautiful if that’s what life needs at that time.  So, what do I do about this?  I continue the dating game, my friends,  but that’s a post of its own. 

I leave you with this to digest for now, my lovelies.  Follow your heart.  Even if you get lost you’ll have some beautiful memories to share when you find a willing audience.

Go now, love.

Namaste.

Advertisements