Today’s topic is one I’ve grappled with for a while now, and one I was not sure I wanted to air in a public forum.  In doing so I out myself a little more than I’d like to a friend I’d like to keep.  After thinking about it, if he hasn’t figured it out by now he’s not as observant as I’d thought, and if he has he doesn’t care one way or another.  The latter is more likely, and that does not bother me one bit.  It doesn’t change how I feel, and how I feel shouldn’t change our dynamic as close friends.  Disclaimer over…on with the show!

As a poly woman I am a firm believer that there is room in my heart to love as many people as I choose.  Life requires me to only have relationships with those for whom I can make time, but there lies my only restriction.  I try to make my love life as uncomplicated and stress-free as possible, but this is the first time I’ve come up against an issue quite out of my control.  With all the poly or single men who cross my path your truly has fallen for a monogamous man.  Really, Autumn?  I mean really?

Hubby finds this hilarious.  As much as he sympathizes with my frustration, he also knows how seldom I open myself up enough to really love someone.  He knows what it takes to earn my trust and get inside me on any level, let alone reach a point where I will confide in someone and feel completely comfortable being myself.  He was the one who brought it to my attention that I was developing an emotional attachment and saw this coming months ago.

So what do I do from here?  Nothing, is the practical answer.  This friendship is important to me, and I will continue to love him as one of my closest friends.  I have to accept the choices of others not to live my lifestyle, and I will not interfere with anyone’s happy marriage, especially someone I care about.  I will take whatever he’s willing to give to me, and he and his will be considered always a part of my chosen family.

This is who we are.  This is what we do.  We love unconditionally and without boundaries, and we accept the roles our chosen family play in our lives.  Sometimes it backfires, but we must believe that this is where we are meant to be and these are the people we are meant to have in our lives.  I will take the advice of my spirit guides and “stay no matter what happens”.

Go now, create a predicament of your own.  They make life interesting.

Aloha.

Advertisements