Brighid (Imbolc) this year was unusual for me.  On a day where we celebrated the signs of spring emerging from the harsh winter crust I was in a skirt and sandals in 75 degree weather.  Still, at home the snow and ice were making it very clear that their season had not passed.

I didn’t notice the signs of seasonal depression or the changes within myself until a few years ago.  I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area where all my seasons were internal and symbolic, and by the time I encountered the winters of the Northeast I was in such a constant state of depression and emotional flux that the lack of sun never had much of a noticeable effect.  All the trials of life seemed to naturally take hold in the winter.  Again my seasons were internal.

This year I fell into a seasonal depression like a dark well.  It was then piled on top of a wanderlust that became physically painful and the blessing of health well enough to work myself to death.  The darkness enfolded me, and all my introspection turned negative.  The light within me began to flicker and fade.

A few weeks ago I started to feel my spirit again as some of the ice thawed and Imbolc approached.  No, the darkness isn’t over yet, but the light is returning.  I started being inspired and creative again, as new ideas and strategies emerge, and I was able to open both mind and heart to embrace life and energy all around me.  The dark well in which I had fallen became instead refreshing, quenching, and healing, as once again I felt embraced by Brighid.  She had never really left me.  She had just been waiting for me to see past my own flickering flame to reconnect with hers.

As Imbolc passed under the brilliant Florida sun I planned the landscape of the beautiful garden that is the coming season of light.  I set my goals and began directing energy their way.  I cleaned out unnecessary clutter and prepared space for new growth.  In the coming season I will forge new bonds, be inspired, and use my gifts to heal myself and the world around me.

Most importantly I will learn to embrace Brighid’s light.  I will hear her words and drink from her well, and there is no doubt in my mind that the coming year will be beautiful, powerful, and profound.

As i sat enjoying the Florida sun, I was refueled and ready to face the second half of winter.  I found solace int he forest, but I carried its life back to Philadelphia to light my way from the dark.

Go now, find light in your darkness.

Blessed Be.

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