romance sous le parapluie jaune #1

“I’m too much of a romantic to be poly.”

I have heard this in some fashion several times recently, and it has been the source of discussion and thought.  In some cases it has been cynical, in others an excuse as to why they chose monogamy, and there are times when it seems like it might bear some weight.  We spend so much time on logic and communication in the early stages of poly relationships that romance and playfulness don’t always take priority.  For some people, that’s fine, and love and shared openness are all they need.  For me it’s an integral part of my relationships, not just with new partners, but with all of them.

I admit it, I am a hopeless romantic, rather I have opted to stay hopeful that romance can still exist, not only in a long-term relationship, but a polyamorous one as well.  While the logic and structure of it all speaks to the science geek within me, the constant potential for romance and surprise feed the poet, the artist, and the believer in me.

In my mind romance is not always flowers and candy.  It’s a mindset and a way of love.  It’s a realization that my partner knows me inside and out, that he or she understands what makes me smile and is willing to take the time and effort to make me feel special.  Romance feels organic and free.  It exists in making memories, and it can be as elaborate as an orchestrated surprise or as simple as a held hand.

I’ve had some pretty romantic experiences in my life, and they’ve run the gambit from cliche to innovative.  I’ve gone to Atlantic City at midnight in the middle of hurricane weather for a drenching walk on the beach and hot chocolate in a casino diner.  I’ve been given flowers, inscribed children’s books, and homemade cards.  I’ve written poetry and put together photo collages.  Some of my sweetest moments with partners have been spent at flea markets, on mini-golf courses, and in movie theater photobooths.  Some of my best memories have been made at the Renaissance Faire, chinese buffets, and long drives to anywhere we had to go anyway.  There is no formula for romance, and this is what makes it worth its weight in magick.

I am blessed enough to have a wonderful husband who feels the same.  From the occasional “just because” flowers to the night when he staged the first date we would have had if we’d met as kids, and though he’ll deny it to the death, he is just as much as hopeful romantic as I am.  It gives me hope that I’m not the only one and that there may be more out there.   It may mean I get my hopes up and have my heartbroken a little more, but I believe the possibility for finding people who enjoy whimsy and romance as much as I do makes it all worthwhile.

I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, and with my last tattoo I now wear it permanently on my skin.  It’s who I am and how I live.  I choose to act not just from my mind and my gut, but from my heart.  It may seem silly at times, but I hope I never lose my passion and drive for romance.  I hope I never stop meeting people who believe in the same.

Go now, do something romantic,


Please note, Part 2 of this will be in the Sintangible blog at  Stay tuned! Thanks!