I know I’m a little late to the game, but what else is new.  I finally got around to my long-lost DVR to watch the last two episodes of Polyamory: Married and Dating.  I have to admit, that while I still have my fundamental issues with the show as a whole I was able to find some good points hidden within like gems of epiphanies.

Trust and honesty are key.  Whether or not you believe in the rules set forth, you have to be able to be trusted to follow them.  If you have a serious problem about it, you talk about it.  You do not get sneaky and look for loopholes.  You do not just decide that they don’t matter and you can break them whenever you feel they are unnecessary.  You do not try to justify breaking them.  You apologize and do what you can to resolve the situation.  Poly or not, lying is lying.  On the flip side, if someone has told you she would do something you’ve asked, believe her.  Do not follow her and show up to validate.  Again, sneaky.  Trust your partner, and do not give your partners a reason not to trust you.

Coming out is extremely freeing and empowering.  I was extremely nervous about my family reading my blog and talking to them about our family at first.  In the end, once I was able to be open and honest about it I feel more free and strong than ever.  I finally felt like we could be  family and grow as a family.  I know not everyone has as supportive and loving a family as I have, but I cannot describe how much more complete I felt to share such a big part of my life with them.  Even if they don’t always understand they try, and that’s what’s truly important.  We are still working on the “well, it’s just family, so just you two” mindset, but in time it will come. In time our family unit will be a normal thing to those around us.  It’s been much easier to move in that direction now that my mother-in-law has seen us interact and express our love in a very healthy and non-spectacled way.

Commitment is beautiful and possible.  During the season finale the triad has a beautiful commitment ceremony.  It was inspiring and hopeful.  The dice were a little cheesy, and mine would include our families, but the idea and intention were spot on.  We do this for family, at least our family does.  We do this to be connected as kindred.  Just because it isn’t legally recognized doesn’t make it any less meaningful or lasting.

Will I watch the next season?  Most likely.  Will I be just as critical?  Probably.  Will I still keep an open mind despite my skepticism? Definitely.  If this is what works for them, more power to them.

Go now, be your own reality.

Namaste

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