2013 is my sophomore year doing NaNoWriMo, and I am loving the experience.  Last year was fun, but I was too nice to my story.  My characters had a lot of great sex, but their life didn’t have a lot of anything else happening.  I will probably use those scenes for other things, or maybe I’ll scrape the whole thing into something useful, but the end result was not a  usable novel, which was fine with me, since my goal for the first year was to finish the word count goal.

This year I was in love with my story before I even started writing it.  The concept came to me in September, and it took a lot of effort on my part not to start it early.  Less than a week in I was already wondering what my characters were doing when I wasn’t with them.  They had really started to develop personalities and lives independent of the novel.

Today we’re halfway through NaNoWriMo, and though I had prewritten blogs ready to post I am borrowing the words in this post from the 6,000 words over  target I currently have written to tell you about something amazing that happened this afternoon.

All week I have had a hard time having an emotional response to anything that has been going on in my life.  We’ve had a lot of ups and downs that made it hard to fathom adding the responsibilities of NaNoWriMo to the load, but I dedicated myself with the intention of using it to distract myself a little bit.  My first week of writing was exactly the opposite.  I poured a lot of my emotional overflow into my story.  This past Monday it all just stopped.  I listened to music.  I read.  I wrote.  I did everything I could to try to illicit any and all kinds of emotions, but I couldn’t.

This is an extremely dangerous phase of depression for me.  When I’m hopeless or sad I can at least care enough to try to pull through it, but when there’s nothing to feel I’m prone to making bad decisions.  What’s kept me from doing so?  My characters are making bad decisions for me.

Today I put one of my characters in the hospital, and while I haven’t been able to dig up a single give-a-shit for real life at the moment, the idea of my protagonist being in peril, whether or not I have previous knowledge or control over his future, had me blubbering like an idiot.

I am anxious to finish this year’s NaNoWriMo challenge and share my final result with the world.  I have found a love for these characters that I hope shines through in their stories and interactions.

Current Word Count: 31,659 and counting.

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