The last several weeks for me have been full of reconnections, reunions, and a lot of dredging places I forgot I had sunk some pretty heavy ships.  These day’s I’ve stayed afloat by riding the waves and staying on the surface with the belief that what I really needed to focus on would be blown my way.  As someone quite often lead by emotion and intuition, this approach has been a refreshing change from being ruled rather than lead.  This is the only way it’s been possible for me to accept the sudden resurfacing of so many abandoned parts of my past.  For the most part this had been a positive experience on a very cathartic level, but also because I missed having some of these people in my life. I’ve shared a lot of laughs, shed a few tears, and had some amazing conversations.  I’ve also vowed not to try to sort these relationships based on their former blueprints.   Easier said than done, right?

Well, enter Mercury Retrograde and its not so gentle reminder to examine information coming in for what it truly says instead of what I think it should say, including self chatter.  I talk to myself a lot, both internally and externally, but how often do I really try to analyse any of it?  The answer is, most likely, almost never, which is probably counterintuitive for a writer and an energy worker.   Right on the heels of this retrograde, like a questionable sidekick, are the days where nothing seems to work right, the tied tongues, and the miscommunication that starts to break the harmony I’ve worked so hard to restore to this household after the changes of the winter.  I can’t let this happen, friends.  So, it’s time.  Time to dive a little deeper.

My aim here is not to exhume old shipwrecks and the tragedies that went down with them, but to see what they’ve now become.  Actual shipwrecks become their own ecosystems.  I’m anxious to see what lives in mine now and what might float to the surface when I find whatever it is that’s calling to me.  These are the things that will be important moving forward.  Adversely, this kind of diving reminds me that sometimes what looks like a jewel is just a shiny rock, and where there are cute fish there are also sharks.  There were reasons these ships sank, and if those problems haven’t been resolved there’s no reason to revisit the vessels to begin with.

This Mercury Retrograde is a bit oddly timed, but not in a particularly bad way.  It’s introspection I have needed to really sort how I feel about the events of the last several months.  It’s facing a broken part of me and working through the trust issues and emotional avoidance I’ve been struggling with for almost a decade.  It’s being able to enjoy the root good of these relationships without all the barnacles that have since grown around them.  The beauty of the Titanic wasn’t lost with its demise, which is why it’s been the focus of romance, adventure, and exploration for over 100 years.  That beauty still fascinates us to this day, and the stories of survival and strength pulled from her wreckage are inspiring and powerful.

We often give Mercury Retrograde a bad rap.  Yes, it can be frustrating.  In fact, there can be moments where it’s infuriating.  There are storms over even the most calm seas.  This can also be a time to do some organizing, some regrouping, and a lot of thinking outside the box.  It is in time of our greatest frustration that we sometimes find our greatest inspiration and perspective.  So, I let myself be overtaken by the current and sink below the surface, and I find some amazing things.  It is when I am submerged that I am reminded why I live and love the way I do and why I will always choose it over the alternative, which is to risk never experiencing the tides at all.  When I do come up for air it will be to blue skies and a shining sun, and that, my friends, is the only way to live.


Go now, dive deep.