There are words that push me over a precipice when I’m upset.  Mainly “It’s OK”.

It’s OK. Wait, it’s OK?  Well, then, I guess all this snot and crying is for nothing!  I might as well just stop this instant.

No, friends.  It’s not OK, hence all the snot and crying, and it makes me livid to hear these words used to comfort me.

When did we become a society that devalues being upset?  Why are we so afraid of raw emotion? What makes us say anything just to make it stop?  When women are upset they’re hysterical or histrionic.  When men are upset they’re unstable or weak.  Why should human emotion make one a pariah?

It has always been stressed during group rituals that there is a serious rule about interjecting when someone gets emotional unless there is an obvious emergency.  Why? Because to interrupt is to rob someone of an integral part of the experience.  Granted, being sad and going to someone for emotional support isn’t a ritual experience, but it is still very important to see it out.  I’ve told Hubby in the past that I don’t ever expect him to fix my problems, I just want to know I’m not alone while I process them.

Being upset is a sign.  It means something in our life is important enough to be upset over.  It’s an impetus for change and growth.  It’s a push to rid ourselves of what’s holding us back so that life can heal us the way it’s meant to.

I know most people mean well when they say “it’s OK”, and most of the time what they mean is “it’s going to be OK”, but it’s a cop-out to the obvious.  Instead, what anyone who is upset and reaching out for comfort needs to remember is, “it’s not OK, and that’s alright”.

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