Anger Quotes Buddhism Thich Nhat Hanh

 

We are taught as a society that anger is bad.  Angry children are punished instead of taught to process, angry men are destructive, and angry women are irrational.  We learn to ignore it, to bottle it up, to fear it, and this leads to a breakdown in communication and emotional presence.  But anger is not the enemy.  Anger, like any other emotion, is defined by how we respond to it and process it.

Even just a year ago I would have turned the first time I got angry as a new partner into fear that if I expressed it at all he’s walk, and past experience has taught me that anger makes me a monster, a selfish bitch.  Crazy.  Both of my parents got very quiet when they were angry, and I have inherited that behaviour.  When I’m frustrated I get snappy, but when I’m genuinely angry I shut down.

Our challenge as adults in relationships is to deal with anger instead of letting it push us apart, right?  How do we do this without the emotional toolbox we should have been given decades ago?  How do I process and communicate my anger without getting passive aggressive, hurtful, or adversely, detached?  How do I help my partner not feel like he needs to be on his defense?  These are not questions I have answers for, and they stir up the fear that I’ll merely succeed in pushing him away from me, but staying angry doesn’t help anyone.

Aloha

Go now, use your anger

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