Community in the Modern Dark Season

The dark season is typically a time of introspection and deep shadow work. We look inward and address the things within us that need attention and nurturing. We’ve planted the seeds, we’re prepared the soil, all we can do now is work on the hands that cultivate the crops.

At Mabon we came together as a community and stocked up on energy, light, and joy. We raised our vibrations and absorbed as much of it as we had room to keep. This is the reserve that will get us through the darkest nights. This is all fine and dandy if we live in a vacuum with no distractions nad endless time and quiet. In reality, we live with people, we have job, we have social commitments. The modern dark is full of light pollution, and it makes it hard sometimes to get to the surface of the shadows. If done correctly, however, community can be our heaviest weapon against the darkness.

I live in a home with…a lot of people. Eight adults to be exact. Eight humans with HALT (hungry, angry, tired, lonely) moments. Eight humans with stressful jobs and personal struggles. Eight humans with human problems. Eight humans with an entire dark season to fight their own respective battles. This creates an eight wheeled unit that needs each of us to work independently together or the entire thing falls apart.

So how? How do we navigate high emotions? How do we mitigate explosions? How do we communicate through the battles we fight together instead of turning on each other? How do we repair after the inevitable damage is done?

I don’t have all the answers, but I do have seven other people on my web, and I am responsible for the vibrations I cause that reach them. Here’s what I do have.

Words. Words have power, especially in an environment with several empaths in close quarters. We all need to be keenly aware of how our words affect one another and which words can reel us back in from drifting off course. This includes processing, communication, and apology styles and knowing how to cross the gaps caused by differing styles.

Compassion. Remembering that we all have our own battles to fight is integral to reaching our goals together. Compassion is one of the most important tools in the arsenal against the dark season and the ways it can confuse and disorient everyone involved. None of us is perfect. None of us has all the answers. None of us has communication or empathy completely figured out yet. Each of us if going through a huge transition, and we can afford to have a little compassion and consideration for those around us.

Joy. You heard me. Humans have this innate talent for The Grind. I know Hubby and I have fallen into traps in the past where we have an enormous issue and we get caught in a cycle where we can’t not work on it. Anyone who’s ever been there knows that the emotional toll this takes eventually causes burnout and ultimately collapse. BUt it’s important to take breaks. It’s important to enjoy where we are sometimes not just look forward to the end goal. It’s important to find joy in one another even when tension is high, because it is that joy that binds us. It is that joy that refreshes us. It is that joy that makes all the work worth it.

No, I don’t have all the answers. I have three ideas and a lot of faith in the eight inhabitants that make this house a home. I have hope for our battles and love for the paths we’re all on. I have words of encouragement and information. I have compassion and respect for those who share space with me. I have joy to share that binds me to each and every one of them.

I have an entire dark season to survive, and the best team anyone could ask for to help me through it. In the spring we’re going to take a big deep breath and step into the sunlight.

Into the Darkness

The festival of Mabon marks the beginning of the dark part of the year.  The leaves are falling, the days are shortening, and the air is starting to chill.  It is not yet winter, but a fair part of the bounty has come and gone.  To our ancestors it was a lot more scary and unstable of a season than it is now, but we still carry that inherent link within us.  Yes, we can go to a grocery store for food, and we have electric and gas heaters whenever we need them, but there is still that intuitive feeling of darkness for those of us who feel the seasons.

This isn’t a bad thing.  The darkness is imperative to growth and change.  The darkness challenges us to look deeper within and rid ourselves of impediments and weakness.  The darkness forces us to face our fears and uncertainties head-on and learn from them.

I admit for much of my life I either lived in the darkness or ignored it.  The constant state of imbalance meant I was spinning my wheels when it came to any progress in my life.  Living in darkness I missed a lot of opportunities and lost my way a few times.  Avoiding it I not only neglected an important part of myself but allowed myself to be comfortable and what I thought was content.  In reality all it did was let the darkness grow, until it demanded attention.  At that point I was back at living in the darkness.  It’s a detrimental cycle to be sure.

I am still learning to not fear the darkness, to take it as it comes, and to let it go.  I am still learning to understand that in order for there to be light there must also be dark.  I am still learning to not consider darkness “bad” or “evil”.  I am still learning to accept that the path is not always well-lit, well-worn, or easily travelled.  If it were I would be getting nowhere.

This year we’ve been blessed with a lot of light, but it took us a long trudge through the darkness to get there.  Issues with partners and our marriage made us recognize things we needed to resolve to be a stronger couple.  Those same issues brought up individual insecurities and resentments from our respective pasts that needed to be addressed before we could progress in our life together.  Losing jobs and our house brought us closer to family.  On my end it bolstered me to work harder to provide for my household and forced us to learn to save and budget.  It also gave us the opportunity to pay off debts that have been blights on our credit for years.  Health problems have given me a better look at where and how I need to take better care of my body, spirit, and self in general.

It’s been a rough step in our lives together and separate,  but it’s been necessary and in a positive direction.  There’s still work to be done, and as we enter another dark season I wonder what it will bring,  but I’m learning not to fear it but to embrace and learn from it knowing I will come out a better me on the other side.  I know things will come to me as I am ready and able to handle them, and I know that my faith will get me through with a little support and love from my community and my family.

Welcome to the dark time, my friends.  What will you learn about yourself this year?

*Namaste*