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We are the artists, the healers, and the teachers.  We are those who feel, and sometimes we don’t know why until we have learned to acknowledge and process them.  We are the empaths, and our journey is unique.  It’s not always easy, but it can be highly rewarding and fulfilling.

As an empath I am generally at least aware of my environment on a very intimate level.  I can get a feel for people pretty quickly in ways they might not even be in touch with themselves.  I can tell when people are hurting, sick, or frustrated, but I can also see their capacity for love and joy when they might not be able to.  It makes me a caretaker by nature.  I am generally that friend answering her phone at some odd hour of the night because I’ve never turned down a request for help I was available to give.

The flip side of all this is that it makes me a lover, which in and of itself is not a negative thing.  I’ve expressed before that being vulnerable doesn’t make me weak.  It makes me stronger every time it backfires, but when it doesn’t I am reminded why I live and love as openly as I do.  It also makes me stubborn and persistent.  I can see past all the verbal armor people use on a daily basis, excuses that we think protect us from our own fears and insecurities.  I promise you, they protect you from nothing.  If anything you become a victim of yourself, and eventually those things become who you are instead of the things inside that actually define you.  These are the things I see as an empath.

This also means I can tell when I’m being lied to or set aside.  I can tell when a relationship has become about sentimental nostalgia instead of new refreshed emotion.  I don’t like it, and at times I’ve tried to fight it, but I can always feel it.  It’s at these times where I have a choice, just as I have a choice whether or not to speak up when I see these things affecting others.  Do I speak up?  Do I keep trying to fool myself with the same sentimentality?  Do I force a change or do I wait for the inevitable?

Being an empath has taught me to throw everything I have to the surface, to give all of myself to those I feel won’t abuse it, and to see doors most people would generally walk past.  It’s also taught me to identify other empaths, because they are generally the people I can communicate with on an unspoken level.  There’s an amazing bond between two people who can feel everything happening in each other.  My world is full of them.  We laugh together, we hurt together, and we experience love together, and it’s extremely painful when someone starts to distance.

This.  This is what I fear.  This is my biggest concern coming true.  Distance from someone who once knew me so well.  So what do I do?  This, friends, is where my soul is.

Aloha.

Go now, get in touch with yourself.

 

empath2

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This weekend I left Hubby alone with the house and, trying not to think about the conditions to which I would return, spent my days on Assateague Island for a Women’s Empowerment retreat with the woman who attuned me to Reiki.  The group ended up being, with the exception of one woman, a mini reunion of my initial Reiki class.  Now, this was in many ways a “what happens on Assateague stays on Assateague” kind of personal retreat meant only for my personal (aka: handwritten and kept in a dresser drawer) journal, but I will share with you all a few poignant moments and what I brought home from the experience.

The first night we stayed up late not talking, but sharing and laughing.  Though for some of us it was only the second time we’d ever been in the same room together, I immediately felt a connection to each of these women.  We were five women of varying ages, experiences, paths, and lifestyles finding out how comfortably and easily we related to one another.  We went to bed relaxed and warm, and I couldn’t sleep.  My mind was racing, my heart and soul were optimistic and impatient, and my spirit was anxious to explore this new place like a bird newly set free in a bright morning sky.

I found myself up the next morning far earlier than I would normally wake up on my own feeling refreshed and ready for anything; ocean air has a way of doing that.  We eased into the morning and started our afternoon on the beach, where I had the auspicious opportunity to see a few of the wild horses of Assateague.  I stood in the sand and let myself feel the sand beneath my feet, the rolling surf on my legs, the breeze wrapping itself around me, and the run on my face.  I took in those energies and held them deep inside in perfect balance.  I was ready to begin.

Back at the house we began to do some real work with each other and within ourselves.  For me, this weekend was about long-term progress rather than the small and often illusory steps I seem to be reaching for a lot these days.  If Hubby and I are going to be back on our own two feet soon we need to think big and make it happen.  To be able to do my part in all this I need to be strong, confident, and possibly a little creative.  I also need to be patient, and oftentimes more quiet and at peace when I see the opportunity for it to mitigate the chaos and constant doing inherent to putting any plan in motion.  All this is what I needed to get from this weekend.

Part of the afternoon featured a short energy share.  On a normal day my benefit would mainly have been in receiving healing energy.  In that setting, however, I was most satisfied by giving.  Not only did it remind me of my love for hands-on healing and the joy I get from being able to translate messages from a person’s  body, but it also gave me a renewed need to do so on a regular basis and the confidence I needed to know where my real gifts need to be directed.

Having our ritual on the beach that night brought a lot of things together for me.  Since deciding that morning  what specific insight I wanted to get from the experience I had already been receiving messages and feeling the energies changing within and around me.  I have never been on a beach that allowed fires, so having a fire in the sand on a darkened beach was an amazing experience.  It was surreal knowing there were other people on the beach but also feeling like we were in our own space.  Unless I really looked for them I could not see the separations between the land, water, and sky, and it only added to the surreal feel of the night.  The only other people I did happen to notice where beautiful moonlit silhouettes of children playing on the dunes just after twilight.  My spirit wanted to play with them, and my heart smiled.

When ritual was over I wandered towards the ocean and let the water wash over my feet and mingle with the sand between my toes.  Once again I felt the breeze wrap itself around me, but this time it was the moonlight on my face.  I remembered how the energy had felt earlier that day and let the two twist and blend within me, a glorious balance of the masculine sun and feminine moon energies.  There with my feet in the sandy surf and my head in the stars (the Milky Way has never been so bright!) I found myself singing a song of transformation.  I have never felt so moved and full of life-changing, positive energy in my life, never felt so sure I was on the verge of something great for myself and for my family.   It was emotional and almost overwhelming.  I let it flow through me and sang, “well of water, flowing emotion…transformation…we call…” and the ocean answered with one overflowing wave.  Where the other only licked my toes, this wave engulfed me up to my hips.  It happened once, and only once, and I knew it was time to join my sisters by the fire once more.  I was soggy and cold, but I was a new me walking back to them that night.

The ride home was jovial.  We laughed a lot and never missed a chance to kick the laughter up a notch.  I knew then, as I know now, that these women are now an important part of my life.  I hold a new respect and love for each and every one of them.  I know I could call any one of them if I had a problem or question, and she would listen with an open heart and help me find the power I discovered on the beach.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to convey with words how this weekend has changed me, which is a hard thing for a writer to admit.  I can count on one hand the times in my life I have been speechless, but this experience definitely goes on that list.  Now is the time for my next steps.  They will be small, slow, and quiet, but they will change my life as I know it.  We will overcome this situation.  I will not be alone, nor will I fall behind and be carried.  I will not forget I am a woman of Brighid, a woman of the Earth, and my mother’s daughter.  I will not forget that I am often the only one making me weak.  At some point the woman I know I can be got buried far beneath the woman I let myself be far too often. She’s the woman Hubby sees.  She’s the woman the children look to for guidance and nurturing.  She’s the woman who can, and will, and continues to thrive.  She is the woman I have always been, the woman I disinterred on Assateague Island.

Go now, my friends, and find your power.

~*Namaste*~

I have always been a healer and a nurturer.  As a child I had a small army of orphaned baby dolls I had taken under my wing.  In my teenage years I realized my love of working with children in care homes and those with special needs, and from that point it was a goal of mine to make my life about healing and enriching the lives of those who are often unseen in our society.  In all these aspects I was guided internally to touch and sooth.  An ex-boyfriend of mine used to call them “magick hands”.

A few years ago I realized my role as a healer on the path and a talent for helping people heal themselves.  Not long after Hubby and I started working with the coven we are now a part of I took on a very personal relationship with the goddess Brighid, particularly as healer though I relate to her also as poet, warrior, and craftswoman.  She has guided me in healing and soothing the bodies, minds, and hearts of people who find themselves opening up to me without knowing why, and I turn to her when I feel too weak to fulfill my role.

Last year I began to pursue what I felt needed to be my next step.  A former girlfriend and good friend of mine had been a Reiki practitioner for several years, and through her I came to understand its universal benefit.  After several attempts I found a Master who fit me and my needs, and this past Sunday I was formally taught and quite beautifully ceremoniously attuned.  Krissy was an amazing teacher and has done a great job of following up with her students and keeping in touch with them regularly.  I do not know when I will be able to attend one of her Reiki shares or continuation classes, but I look forward to continuing to learn from her and her other students.  This is a big step for me.  It is a chance to continue my education and to grow as a healer.  It helps me understand myself and my body, and I fully intend to pursue a Master level so I can extend this opportunity to grow and change th world with others.

The main thing I love about Reiki is its universal application.  One does not have to be Pagan or even extremely spiritual for it to work.  One has only to be open to the energy and the possibilities of being well.  This, to me, is the beauty of Reiki.  To some people it is a highly spiritual experience.  To others it is more like a massage or a workout.  Whether or not the receiver knows what or where a chakra is or what the colours and bells and whistles represent, she can still have a wonderful experience.  In my opinion, that is what life is all about, experiences.

I’ve linked Krissy’s site if any of you dear readers have questions or would like to know more about Reiki.  If you can get to Delaware for her classes, I highly recommend it.  Otherwise, if this is something you would like to pursue, and it is something you are meant to do, the right Master will come to you.

Now, go make a new experience today!

~*Namaste*~

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